Even off-topic
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
Edgar Allan Poe
Het is wel typisch dat ik van dit soort dingen toch de neiging krijg erover te gaan zeuren of het in ieder geval te bespotten, hoewel het toch vrij waar klinkt. Alleen te simpel, maar op zich is dat ook wel weer mooi "zegt het zweverige type "zegt de kritische zeikerd"". Leuk toch! Misschien moet ik maar niet meer zo laat gaan posten.
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Two men have been out drinking. they are walking home and telling jokes. As they are walking over this large bridge they stop to pee.
As they are peeing off the side of the bridge one man says to the other
"This water is cold" (man 1)
"YEA and it's deep too" (man2)
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A lion, his wife, and a fox were sitting together. The fox was making fun of the lion saying why don’t you cut your ugly hair; you call yourself the king of the jungle more like the mop of the jungle. Oh, you think your so fierce, you sissy. The lion’s wife had enough of this. She told her husband “If you aren’t going to make the fox stop I will”. The lion looked at her and said “Be calm and ignore him he just wants to make you angry. Ignore him” The fox hearing this told her that if her husband was a real lion he would defend her. The lioness very angry by now attacked the fox. The fox ran and ran, but the lioness was close on his heel. He entered a pipe and got out on the other end, but the lioness was stuck. So he took a cigarette and started burning her ass. Finally when the lioness got out of the pipe she went to her husband with her head bent low. He looked at her and said: “He took you to the pipe.” I have been there!
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A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
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There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
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A little boy asks his father "Daddy, how was I born?"
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Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. "I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy and then your mother agreed to take a download from my hard drive.
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Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
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Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards him. "Two dogs, please," says one.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs
in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry
to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
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The first people to make chocolate were the native people of Mesoamerica (the area that is now called Central America). These people - the Maya and the Aztec – used the pods of the cacao tree, which is native to Central and South America, to make chocolate.
Teacher:- "Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?"
Little Johnny:- "None Miss".
Teacher:- "Could you tell me why?"
Little Johnny:- "Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away".
Teacher:- "Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking."
Little Johnny:- "Miss, while were asking questions, could I ask you one?"
Teacher:- "Its a bit irregular, but go on then"
Little Johnny:- "There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?"
Teacher (rather embarrassed):- "Err... I suppose it was the last one."
Little Johnny:- "Well Id have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking."
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A beautiful young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.
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